My Time as Owen Wilson

well everyone, I’ve got a nice little story for you all.

So my friend Mel came over and was telling me about her fake Luke Wilson account on facebook, and how a bunch of people send her messages like shes the actual Luke Wilson and how hilarious it is.  Well i decided to have a try at it myself and made an Owen Wilson account just for shits and giggles.

So i made my Owen Wilson account and friended all of “Luke Wilson’s” friends and waited for people to respond.  now i made this account probably a week ago and i already have 86 friends.  it took all of a day for people who think that i’m the real owen wilson to start writing to me.  i’ll post some of my favorites below

Owen,

Not sure if you remember me from a couple years back. I met you at Silver City (strip club off I-35). Anyway, I had Dr. Keyton for Geometry way back when (I’m St Marks 89), and I asked if you did too. I forgot what you said, then I bought you a beer… Shiner I think.

I’ve really enjoyed your work over the years… just saw Bottle Rocket again (it was showing on HBO).

Thought I’d drop you a line to say Hola, and see if you’d like to connect to my network. If not, that’s cool.

Laters, bra.

Jimbo.

so much to love from that.  same highschool? strip club? a couple years ago?  awesome!!

there was also the girl who was having an extistential crisis because she couldn’t decide what was ‘real’ because of a fake celebrity facebook page.

now theres all sorts of crazy stupid people thinking i’m the real owen wilson and they’re all good and funny and stuff, but then last night i decided that i should post a nice little status update for owen and it said, ‘owen is chillin like a villan’.  little did i know that real owen was presenting at the oscars.  this little slip up caused this wonderful lady to send me the kind message below.

Hey,
How could you be chillin’ 15 minutes ago, when I just saw you on the LIVE Oscars in your tux? And then I’m sure you didn’t go to your hotel and change and turn on your computer and pull of Facebook and write something to update your status…..?? You are a fake. it’s official.

Mary Jane

to which i responded:

NO WAY!! REALLY?!?! 

so yes.  i am going to hell.  but I’ll be laughing like a madwoman all the way there.

If you would like to see the wonderful facebook page with information pulled right from wikipedia for yourself just search “Owen Wilson” and friend the one with the picture of him in a black shirt with grey sleeves.  because there’s like 8 Owen Wilsons.  all of which i have friend requested.  the one i REALLY want to friend me back is ‘Owen Wilson’s nose’.

WANTED: personal assistant that will work for cake.

Dear Readers,

have you ever thought that your life lacked meaning? do you feel lost and alone in an uncaring world? do you like cake?  if so i have an answer for you.  You can be my own personal assistant!! oh yes, you might think that this prestigious position is too good to be true, but i assure you, its real.  Your duties would include doing my dishes, getting me a work permit, doing my laundry, grocery shopping for me, and much much more!!

I know you’re all just jumping at this chance, but wait! much like those magic bullet commercials where you’re already planing to buy one, and they announce they’re going to give you two… well my equivalent to the second magic bullet is that you even get to be the person that gets to eat all the cakes i will make with my free time.  I’m not going to be the one getting fat from my cakes, you are!!

I know i will be getting a lot of applications for this job, so i may take on a second assistant, for the other jobs around such as vacuuming my room and cleaning my fish tank.  this will most definitly give you the meaning in your life, i mean what nobler task could you ask for than to remove minor inconveniences from my life? and yea it’ll fufill all that other crap i mentioned in the first line.

Apply now!

More stuff to amuse you

So its sunday, Super bowl sunday, so of course all the good tv shows arn’t on tonight to make room for a really boring sport that for some reason needs a pre game, during game, half time, and post game commentary.  do you really need that much commentary?  in any case my friend showed me to this site which is sure to entertain.

http://www.myoats.com/create.aspx

make sure to take a look at the favorite ones, play with the different tools, and not be too bitter that nothing else is on tv.

Top Five Animal sites

Well it is time for my second blog post. I Assume that because you’re reading this you’re procrastinating on something really tedious, or really don’t have anything better to do. So I’ve decided to give you guys a real treat, animals. animals in costumes, animals that look like famous dictators, animals in comical locations… yes. what a treat.

1. Bee dogs. pages upon pages of dogs dressed up in bee costumes, and on a rare occasion, lady bug dogs.

http://www.beedogs.com/

2. A second animal site that is a love of loath one, is Cats that look like hitler or as they say ‘Kitler’. Little did you know that an innocent and fluffy black and white cat could bear such a striking resemblance to such a terrible person. sure to amuse you! (or at least horrify you) If they weren’t so cute, you’d think they’d be off to invade Poland.

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl

3. Have you ever had a cat that likes to sleep in sinks? well apparently so have hundreds of other cat owners everywhere. it stops being funny after like the fifth one, but impressive at how many pictures there are. More than bee dogs even!!

http://www.catsinsinks.com/

4. Sure to amuse you for at least a couple minutes, and surely make some, “oh i’ve seen that” comments, is LOLcats.

http://lolcats.com/

5.  Last but not least, there is finally a way to have a tribute to your long lost pet. So if you ever thought that you’re old dog and jesus would get along  great, this site is here to tell you you’re 100% right.

http://www.pettributecreations.com/index.htm

So I hope you’ve enjoyed all these sites that together should have killed at least a half hour of your time, and saved you from that paper, or even less fufilling form of entertainments like tila tequila’s search for true love.  Have a good weekend!

-Abby

Hello!

Hello everyone,

well I’ve finally hopped on the Internet band wagon and gotten a blog.   Not a whole lot to say right now, I’m just procrastinating on a paper i need to write.  Its just a summary of an article about roman portraiture.  Nothing quite as easy as just regurgitating what someone has already said and getting full marks for it!

For those of you who i haven’t talked to in a while I’ll do an update.  This winter break i went home, found out i got a D in accounting and switched my major to Art History.  I’m a lot happier with this major, and figure I’ve got time to find someway to get a decent job with that major.   I lead a pretty boring life outside of school, and won’t even go into it.

I’ll write more when i have something to say